Foster Parenting--How to Make Your New Child Feel Welcome
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by: SandraNardoni
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When a new child comes into your home you may be excited, scared, or nervous. Maybe you have waited for a long time for this moment and you are so glad to finally open your home. These feelings are valid but as foster parents, we must remember that our new child may be experiencing loss. Consider how your foster child is feeling--they may not be doing so well--and act accordingly.
Remember your new foster child may have just been removed from the only home they have ever known. They may be coming from a background of neglect or abuse and be scarred from those realities. No matter where they come from though, most children still feel loss when they are removed from their biological family. Considering that fact and even talking about it from time to time will help you bond with your new child.
Remember that not all foster kids come from abusive or neglectful families. There are many reasons a child can end up in foster care and sometimes it isn't the birth parents who are in the wrong. If you are thinking of having a huge welcoming party if you are aware of the placement date, consider if that is really what you would want if your whole world was falling apart? Probably not.
Offer lots of hugs and make sure you are clear about expectations but don't have a long list of rules for them to memorize. Something like, "This is a safe place for kids to live. Our only rule is that you treat everyone else the way you want to be treated so that everyone here can stay safe." A statement like this can be referred to in any situation but is easy to remember and logical even to a child.
Being hospitable is the best way to ensure your new child feels welcomed. Try to find out what they like to eat and serve it on the first night. Make the room they will have look inviting. Do not, however, expect that your foster children will show appreciation right away. They will be overwhelmed and may be unable to do much of anything. Ultimately, creating an atmosphere of safety should be your first priority when you begin the foster care journey. Stay calm and provide a calm environment. Only attempt activities that are absolutely necessary and be patient with your foster kids. They will respond most to patience and understanding.
About the Author
Sandra Nardoni is a home educator and parent of three children. Sandra helps parents in their adoptive search. Sandra loves helping foster and adoptive parents who are struggling with children who display difficult behaviors. For more information about foster parenting and to receive a free mini course, click on one of the links in this resource box.
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